So a big trend in the “relevant” church right now is to talk about marriage and how Christians can have the “best” marriage possible, usually having at least one sermon on sex.
First of all, I think this is awesome!
We need to constantly be reminded that marriage is designed by God and is a privilege we shouldn’t take lightly. BUT!
A lot of times the answers that are given at church for how to fix your marriage consists of what I call “ABCs” of discipleship. They are: read your Bible more, pray more, and love your spouse like Jesus would.
First of all, these are great answers. But, I think we should let everyone know right out of the gate that these three things are ALWAYS part of the answer to growing in Christ and finding his design for your life. They just are. That’s why Christ tells us to seek first the Kingdom of God.
What we need in addition, and something I believe Christ always provided to those that came to Him: was practical advice. Something we can put into action right away. The story of the rich young man? Jesus didn’t give him Biblical principles on tithing or tell him how he needed to read the scriptures more. He simply told him to sell everything and give it away. It was practical. The guy could’ve chosen to follow the advice that very day. The story doesn’t turn out that way unfortunately, but if we’re honest that’s how a lot of us respond.
We want practical advice, but when it’s given, we don’t want to follow it.
We would rather just get the ABCs all the time.
We don’t want to dig deeper because we’re comfortable or scared of what’s to come.
But the author of Hebrews begs us to move beyond the elementary teachings and onto the deeper truths of faith in Christ(6:1-3).
So that’s why I recommend the book “Date Your Wife” by Justin Buzzard to guys. He bases all of his advice off of the first marriage ever created by God: Adam & Eve. He then gives it to guys really practically. Guys have failed to continually win the love and affection of their wives. They win her, marry her, go on a honeymoon, and then they quit trying to romance or win their wives’ hearts unless they want sex.
And SEX is important in a marriage. That’s why God designed a man and woman the way He did and gave them to each other. If you’re not having sex, then I say you need to have a talk with each other. No matter your age, weight, or libido.
I think this is a secret that isn’t talked about in churches. We talk about the spiritual side of it, but we leave out the part that is a natural extension of the spiritual: our action. When we respond to a scriptural truth we put something into practice. I’m not saying the answer is having sex. I’m saying the answer is to remember why you fell in love and make a commitment to practice the things that made it happen the first time around over and over again from now until eternity. We have to become comfortable and relaxed around each other again. And stress wants to stop us. We can’t let it.
So guys: it’s time to date your wife again.
Ladies: it’s not too late for your man; don’t give up on him!
Thoughts? Sound off: